I thought at 49 I’d finally be at peace with my body. I also thought I’d age like Cindy Crawford. And fuck, if I wasn’t wrong on both counts. I’ll be the first to tell you that body positivity in midlife is no easy feat, especially for those of us who never really had it to begin with.
Over the past few months of being stuck in the house, I’ve definitely not done myself any favors by a) not eating or exercising properly b) stressing out constantly and c) not regularly trying on my jeans. BIG MISTAKE!
I am the Queen of Body Positivity!
So I took some drastic steps to get myself out of the funk that I had fallen into.
First, I unfollowed all those skinny bitches, with their perfectly done makeup, trendy clothes and all-white country farmhouse decor that made me feel like shit about myself. Sorry, I had to throw the decor comment in there as well. People with all white homes bother me.
And I started following some awesome midlife ladies that seem to really have it all together and aren’t too concerned with a few extra rolls, wrinkles or stretch marks. #Iwannebeyouwhenigrowup
Then I started reading some self help books to teach me how to be a badass and stop giving a fuck or a ton of fucks or any fucks for that matter.
I bought myself some graphic tees that said stuff like “Coffee makes me feel less murdery“, “I gotta good heart, but this mouth tho“, “I don’t give a (insert picture of a rat and a donkey)” and just for fun “Things Rick Astley will never do” Because I’m an 80’s girls and I know you’re singing it right now, am I right?
Finally, I wore a pair of shorts, which I literally have not done in years and didn’t even shave my legs because “Piss off if you don’t like it!”
And THAT my friends, is how I rocked the positive body image. BOOM! Mic drop. Happy dance and all the things.
Dealing with the truth
Then it happened. During some random conversation, my husband asked why I wasn’t hanging out with my neighborhood girls and I told him that I didn’t feel like drinking (true) and that it was too hot (true) and I wasn’t in the mood (also true). But then the real truth came out. “Because I don’t really like how I look right now”. What? Where the hell did that come from? Dammit, I hate it when I am blurt out the truth. Because then I have to deal with it. Ugh
And then it hit me, that all the sassy tee shirts, hairy legs and the “I don’t give a crap attitude” had only masked the way I was really feeling about my appearance, and I hadn’t really overcome my body issues at all. More importantly those issues were defining the way I was living my life or not living it, as the case may be.
I realized that being in the second act of my life doesn’t mean that it’s ok to stop caring about my appearance. Our changing bodies need a bit more tending to these days. So, it means putting in some effort to feel good inside and out then, most importantly being ok with it all at the end of the day. That’s the only way to start moving forward into a place of acceptance.
I am not there yet, by any stretch. But continuing to do all those things like following inspirational women, educating myself on how to be a badass, wearing my sassy clothes and other things I love without fear of being judged may actually be the path I need to be on to get me to that place where I can actually accept and love my body, finally.
I know that I definitely feel sexier, more confident and more comfortable in my skin when I eat well and exercise. It doesn’t take a massive weight loss or new hairstyle or outfit to do that. Just some effort. And some other things you can check out in this article about How to Unravel Your Midlife Body
Do you still struggle with body positivity? I’d love to hear what you do to make yourself feel better about your appearance and how you deal with negative emotions about how you see yourself.